多谢陈峰。Thanks Chan Fong.

2011年12月2日

           星期五的夜晚，雨天令人觉得好睏，但雨天也不停地令我想起不开心的事。我承认，自己还没有释怀过梦格已经离开的事实，但却拼命地强迫自己去面对现实。在昨天和朋友出去时，我才感觉到那前所未有的孤寂，加上一个晚辈的离开，让我倍受打击，整个旅程我难受极了，根本就没心情再流连那陌生地带。朋友们到底去了哪？为什么人潮拥挤，却像是只有我一人？

          漫长的雨夜，我想起988电台有个节目叫大城心事，上个星期听到主持人陈峰倾听听众们的心事，我尝试打电话去电台，没想到那么多年没有参与call in 环节，还真的打通了，“喂，你好”陈峰的声音在听筒出现，我开始有点紧张，但接着我就像咨询心理医师那样，对陈峰说出自己心中的那个结。说着说着我开始哽咽了。

          陈峰说，“如果觉得伤心的话让自己伤心吧，难过就不要逞强。时间会冲淡一切。”我问他，“有个朋友话，面对亲人o既离去，都需要一年半载的时间黎恢复情绪，甘我系唔系都需要甘长时间去忘记伤痛啊？”他说未必，还叫我凡事可以换另一个角度看。

          他教我尝试在每一天早上对着镜子说:假如，今天是我人生的最后一天，我该怎么做？有些人会把握那一天，把自己的任务做好；有些人则会先去给家人一个温暖的拥抱。但不管是什么方式，这做法的目的就是要提醒自己好好珍惜当下，因为我们永远不知道，未来将会有什么事情发生。最重要的，就是让自己每一天都能够活得开心，活得精彩。我这个年纪虽然面对生离死别虽然早，但得提醒自己，为了在天上的好友，我必须要活得更好，而且要更加珍惜在我身边的朋友们。也说了一句“我能了解你当下既感受，节哀，加油啊。”我就向他道谢再就赶快盖了电话。然后，不停地哭泣，继上次她离开的那天，我好久没有肆无忌惮地大哭了。接下来，有一位叫苏先生打电话进来安慰我，还有一个叫阿Ann的听众。她是一位有肾病问题的视障人士，需要经常洗肾，知道自己随时都回离开这个世界。但她积极面对每一天，说死亡是重生的开始，对她的体悟非常钦佩。。

        现在已经觉得好多了，陈医生用他那把浑厚的嗓子为我解心事，果真是听君一席话，让我的心顿时来个大解放。本来今天陈峰因出国公干而可能不会主持节目，没想到他在晚上九点半就到了机场。我还很幸运地成为今天的第一名听众，这可能就是一种缘吧。不过有点不好意思，我看到陈峰面子书的留言，让许多听众哭了，真抱歉，呵呵。希望我能像惊涛骇浪中生活的海鸥，在怒吼的大海上高傲地飞翔。

          Friday night, rain makes people feel tired, too, makes me think off the sad memory.I admit that I still can't let go her death, but forced myself to accept the truth.Went out with friends yesterday,I can feel the loneliness deep in my heart.The death of my relatives that i knew today makes my mood worse.I feel bad along the journey,I even refused to stay longer at the strange places.Where did my friends go? Why I'm alone as there were over-crowded people in the complex?

          At the endless rainy night, A night radio programme called Share Your Stories called to my mind.I have a sudden idea to call to 988 fm to shout out my voice.It is so lucky, I succeed to call in. DJ Chan Fong's voice appeared in the phone,“ Hello”I started to tense, but I soon felt relax and told my problems to Chan, like those patients  who consulted a doctor.I started to weep when telling my stories.

         Chan said,“Express your sadness if you really feel sad, this is not a need to pretend yourself.Time can cure everything." I asked him that is it need a long period to make me recover, he answered me that is not  necessarily.  He too, asked me to look the matter at the other side.

         He taught me, face the mirror in every morning, and asked myself, “What should I do if today is the last day of my life?" Some will try their best to complete their tasks well, some will grab their chances to give their family a big hug.No matter what they do, this method is to remind ourselves to cherish the moment we have, because won't know what will come to us on the next seconds.The most important thing, that is, spend everyday happily.Maybe it is too early for me to face the fate,but I should remind myself, I must live happier and better for my best friend on heaven, and treasure what I have right now, especially family and friends.He said,“I understand your feeling, deepest condolences from me, cheer up." After thanked to him, I ended up the call quickly and started sobbing. Since the day she left us, I didn't released myself for such a long time.There's two person called in too to console me, one is Mr.So, and lady called Ann.She is a blind who have kidney illness,she needs to do dialysis frequently and may left the world in anytime.But she is strong enough to face it, and said that death is the starting of rebirth.I admired her so much.

        I feel better right now.‘Dr. Chan' use his deep and mature voice to console my heart.It works as it is a single conversation across a table with a wise man.He may absent the programme this week as he had to abroad the sea.However he back to here finally and I was so lucky to become the first audience.Maybe it is our fate too.But I felt sorry that I makes many audience  cried of my stories.I hope that i could be a seagull on the terrifying waves,flies on the roaring sea with a great soul.